Ouran Anime Club
by TrunksIzayaBossKadoDRRRotaku
Summary: Think the host club could get ANY wackier? Think again. This is a story of an even wackier host club. How will the host club be with characters from other anime?
1. Chapter 1 Beginnings

**Here is a new fanfic! It is quite wild, and I will have SEVEN anime boys from other shows! I won't tell you now, you'll just have to read on! **

**Chapter 1: Beginnings**

Haruhi Fujioka crept down the hallway of the Ouran Academy. "Everywhere I go, there's no privacy! Ugh!"

She suddenly spotted a door.

_Maybe this place'll be empty..._

When she opened the door, however...

"Welcome to the Ouran Magic Show!" A silky voice cried, and before Haruhi's eyes, a boy dressed in a white magician's outfit appeared in front of her. He had messy brown hair, and blue-violet eyes.

He stared at her in surprise. "You're a boy? Are you interested in joining, perhaps?" The boy asked curiously.

"Who are you?" Haruhi asked back.

"Me? I am Kuroba Kaito, a magician, and a member of the Ouran Host Club! Come in, please!" Kaito said dramatically, and beckoned for her to enter.

The second she entered, she heard a loud crash.

"Whoa!"

Kaito looked up in alarm. "Hey, are you okay?"

The boy, who was hanging precariously from a ladder rung, nodded. "Yes, Kuroba. I'm quite fine. Now, do you mind getting me down? I'm not that good physically, after all."

Kaito nodded again, and helped the slender teen to his feet.

This boy was skinny, and very effeminate. He had messy black hair, and amethyst eyes.

"Who is this, Kuroba? It certainly isn't a customer. Is he an applicant?" The purple-eyed teen asked.

"I'm Haruhi. Haruhi Fujioka. I never said I wanted to join anything!" Haruhi cried, startling the two boys.

"I'm Lelouch Lamperouge. If you want to join, you'd have to talk to our boss." Lelouch stated politely.

"What boss?" Haruhi asked aloud.

Lelouch and Kaito pointed over at where a blond boy was desperately trying to do a magic trick, but failing.

"That's Tamaki Suoh. He's our boss. But, he is quite arrogant." Lelouch warned.

"I got that. What are you guys doing?" Haruhi asked.

"A magic show. I asked Suoh-san personally. The other members should be here. Let's see, the other seven should be around here somewhere." Lelouch said thoughtfully.

They continued on, and Tamaki noticed the newcomer immediately.

"Who is this? Do we finally, _finally _have another applicant?" Tamaki cried melodramatically.

Haruhi sweatdropped. "No. I just came to-"

"Where are all my delightful host club members?" Tamaki cried.

Suddenly, a huge bang could be heard, yet again.

A blond-haired boy who seemed to be around 12 or 13 hurried out of a room, clutching his head, which had a huge goose egg on it.

Another man came chasing after him. He, too, was blond, but he had a cigarette in his mouth. "I told you before, Elric, to stay the hell out of the kitchen until I'm done!"

A vein popped on the other boy's forehead. "I just wanted to ask, dammit!" he screamed aloud.

Tamaki and Lelouch sighed.

"There goes Ed again." Lelouch remarked.

The other boy noticed Tamaki, and rushed over to him. "Tell Mr. Chef to leave me alone, will ya?" He said, his golden eyes blazing.

"Oh, hi, Edward. This is Edward Elric. The one who chased him out is our cook, Sanji." Tamaki said.

Kaito turned to Haruhi and said, "Hey, Mr.- I never asked you for your name, did I?"

"I'm Haruhi Fujioka." Haruhi replied, stunned that he would forget something as basic as that.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Fujioka." Ed said politely.

Just as Tamaki was going to say something, a voice cut him off.

"We got lost again! It's all your damn fault!" The first voice screamed.

"Will you please quit your whining? No doubt Suoh-san will blame us for the loud racket." A calmer, more composed voice replied.

"**Me, **shut up? It should be _you _who should shut up, you sissy pretty boy!" The first boy cried at the other boy.

Within seconds, a loud bang could be heard, and an orange-haired boy was sent flying towards a table.

He landed on the ground, and immediately wiped dirt off his face. His crimson eyes glared at the other boy in the doorway. "Stupid rat! You didn't have to do that! I'm going to beat you up!"

The other, silver-haired boy smirked. "You try that, foolish cat. See where it gets you."

"Hey, we have a person looking to join, so, Yuki, Kyo, are you two going to quit fighting or what?" Ed cried angrily. 

Kyo glared at Ed. "As if!"

Yuki walked over toward the small group. "Sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier. I'm Yuki Sohma, and this is my stupid cousin Kyo."

"Who are you calling stupid?" Kyo snapped.

Yuki was about to reply, but Lelouch covered his mouth. "Let's not fight now, shall we?"

"Yeah! I want to eat cake with my friends!" A cheerful, childish voice cried.

Everyone turned, and saw Hunny and Mori approaching.

"Hello, Hunny. Where have you been?" Yuki asked.

"With Mori, but he wanted to wash my bun-bun!" Hunny said, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes.

"It needs to be washed." Mori said flatly, causing silence.

"By the way, what class are you in, Fujioka?" Tamaki said curiously, placing his hand over his chin.

"I'm in Class A. Of course I'm rich!" Haruhi exclaimed.

"No. You're poor!" Another voice said from behind her.

"Ah!" Haruhi gasped and jumped back at seeing another boy pull all her coins out of her pockets.

"Nope! She's poor, Tamaki!" The boy exclaimed.

"Shut up, Tamahome. How many times do we have to tell you, no pickpocketing?"

_This place is crazy..._

**Tamaki Suoh, Hunny, Mori-Ouran High School Host Club**

**Kaito Kuroba-Detective Conan/Magic Kaito**

**Edward Elric-Full Metal Alchemist**

**Sanji-One Piece**

**Lelouch Lamperouge/vi Britannia-Code Geass**

**Yuki Sohma. Kyo Sohma-Fruits Basket**

**Tamahome-Fushigi Yuugi **


	2. Chapter 2 Entertainment

**Here is the latest chappie!**

Chapter 2 Entertainment

"The Ouran high school...host club?" Haruhi asked, staring at all ten boys like they were aliens from outer space.

"YES!" Tamaki cried, jumping in the air for some reason.

"Suoh-san, calm down." Kaito said, throwing a card at him.

Tamaki deftly dodged it, though.

"Fujioka-san, why don't you come and join our club?" Yuki asked politely.

"No, I don't want to.." Haruhi said, not really wanting to be with these people any longer.

Kyo eyed her slowly. "You are quite...effeminate, Fujioka." He remarked, curiously.

"Effeminate? He's the _most _effeminate!" Haruhi cried, pointing at Lelouch.

Lelouch glared. "I'm no girl!"

"Neither am I!" Haruhi cried, lying.

Kaito stopped them, and said, "Hey, it's almost time for our ladies to arrive."

"Ladies?" Haruhi asked, confused.

"We entertain women. Nothing explicit, though." Tamahome explained.

"So, Tamahome-san, what do you like the most about me?" A girl asked, kneeling in front of Tamahome.

"It's obvious, isn't it? Your mon-I mean, you! I love rich girls!" Tamahome said, causing the girls to cheer.

Meanwhile, two other girls were around Lelouch.

"Lelouch, are you playing chess?" One dark-haired girl asked, who Lelouch thought looked quite familiar.

"Yes. I'll be black." Lelouch replied, and motioned to the girl, who shyly sat down across from him.

Their game began, and Lelouch naturally won. "Checkmate."

"Oh, I lost. I'm no good at this, Lelouch." The girl said sadly.

When Lelouch came closer to her to comfort her, however, her hair fell off, or her wig.

His eyes widened as he saw a familiar orangette with olive eyes. "S-Shirley? What are you doing here?"

"Lulu? Why are you in a club like this? Madam President is so upset." Shirley said, scolding him.

"Who's this? Some lovely lady? Feel free to try my soup. It's normally quite expensive, but for pretty girls like you, there's a special discount." Sanji gushed, causing Shirley to flush a little.

"S-Soup? Thank you, but I'm not really hungry right now." Shirley said, backing away a bit.

"Please, accept my soup. It took me a long time to make it. It's so hard to find nice girls nowadays..." Sanji begged, tears flowing down his face.

Shirley ate the soup, and she said, "It's delicious!"

Over on the other side of the room, some girls were watching Yuki and Kyo _attempt _to clean a table together, if that was possible.

"Watch, you stupid cat. This is how you do it. I learned it from Honda-san." Yuki said, taking a dish rag and wiping it.

"You're supposed to clean it like this, stupid rat!" Kyo exclaimed, grabbing a dirty dish rag, and hurriedly scrubbing the table.

"Idiot. You got dirt on it." Yuki pointed out, gesturing at the table, which was now more filthy.

"Shut up!" Kyo yelled, and lunged at him, but a girl grabbed his arm.

"Kyo-san, please stop!" She pleaded.

"D-Don't touch me!" Kyo cried, but the girl grabbed onto his back, and there was suddenly a puff of smoke.

The girl stared at the bundle of clothes in disbelief.

"Oh no! Kyo changed again!" Hunny cried, picking up Kyo. "Don't worry, my bun-bun and I will do surgery on you! Right, Takeshi?" He said.

Mori nodded.

Kyo's red eyes widened, and he hissed, trying to claw his way out of Hunny's arms.

"It's okay, Kyo-kun." The girls said, having figured out Kyo's problem (and fully accepting it.)

"He's a cat?" Haruhi said, staring at the orange cat.

A few minutes later, all the girls turned away.

"Why are you all-"

POOF!

The next thing Haruhi knew, she saw Kyo back to normal in front of her, only he was au naturel.

Haruhi's nose bled fiercely.

Yuki sighed.

"Ed, what are you doing?" A girl asked, gazing at the blond alchemist with interest.

"Alchemy. Here, I can make you something." Ed said, clapping his hands together, and presenting...nothing.

Ed's vein popped. "DAMMIT!" He screamed.

"Don't worry, Ed." The girl said, patting his head.

Ed smiled in gratitude. "Hey, don't you go worrying about me."

"S-Sure." The girl said, blushing.

"Suoh-san, Elric-san's doing great. Lelouch is good." Kaito said, tallying up all their scores, while also shuffling a deck of cards.

"How can you do that? Yuo defy rationality!" Tamaki exclaimed.

Kaito just gazed at him. "So? A magician never reveals his secrets, Suoh-san." He replied, reaching into his pocket for a ball of some sort, which he threw at Tamaki, which burst, and splattered red paint all over his face.

"KUROBAAAAAAAAAAA!" Tamaki screamed, trying to hit the magician, but failing, as he nimbly dodged him.

"Kaito-kun, you are awesome!" A girl gushed, hearts in her eyes.

Kaito kissed her hand. "Arigato gozaimasu, ojousan."

The girl turned beet red.

Tamaki came charging up at behind him at that poiint.

"Whatever is the matter, Suoh-san?" Kaito uttered, taking a pair of suction cups and climbing up on the wall.

"Get down, Kuroba!" Tamaki exclaimed.

Tamahome grabbed a bucket of water and splashed it in Tamaki's face, washing most of the paint off.

"Yay! Kuroba, you're awesome!"

Kaito then jumped down, barely dodging an enraged Tamaki.

A/N:End of chappie.

This is quite wild, isn't it? Of course, it's supposed to be that way. Who thinks Ouran needs a magician like Kaitou Kid?

!


	3. Chapter 3 Secret Revealed

**Judging by the title of this chapter, you know that someone's secret is going to be revealed. **

**I do not own Ouran, FMA, Magic Kaito, or Detective Conan, or Code Geass, or One Piece or Fruits Basket. Those belong to their respectful authors. **

**If I did, this would be how it would be run!**

Chapter 3 Secret Revealed

If there was one thing Tamaki hated more than anything else, it was being ignored. Because he had such a big ego that just _begged _to be listened to, and didn't care about anyone else's objections.

Currently, he was trying to discipline the impudent magician Kuroba, who just treated this like it was all some kind of game. Kuroba was one of the only people who could piss him off more than anyone else.

"Kuroba, you're awesome!" A girl said, blowing him a kiss.

Kaito grinned at all his fans, and bowed. "Arigato, ojousama, but I'm afraid...I must take my leave."

He said in a smooth tone, and blew them a kiss, then he unleashed another round of pink balls; which produced a smoke bomb.

All the occupants coughed and once the smoke dissipated, Kuroba Kaito had vanished. Everyone gaped.

"Where did he go?" All the girls in the room asked. They searched all over and couldn't find him anywhere.

Everyone clapped, regardless.

"There goes Kuroba again, with another disappearing act. Mr. Magician loves to fool around." Ed remarked bitterly.

"That's why we love him!" A girl screamed.

"Edward, are you jealous?" Shirley asked innocently.

"N-No, of course not!" Ed said.

"You're too short to be likeable." Lelouch remarked.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT!" Ed screamed, causing Lelouch to scream a very girly scream, and jump back.

A whole bunch of girls applauded and said, "Oh, sorry, poor Ed! We didn't mean to hurt your poor, sensitive ego!"

"Sensitive? Che, and you compare me with _him, _who's obviously very sensitive." Ed said, pointing to where Tamaki was sobbing in the corner, due to the fact that he wasn't getting any attention.

"It's okay, Tamaki. We still love you!" A girl remarked.

"No, you don't." Tamahome said bluntly.

"Why is everyone picking on me today?" Tamaki screeched.

"Because we can." Tamahome said coldly, but was kicked by Sanji.

"Shut up, you baka." Sanji said.

Haruhi glanced at Lelouch, who had turned back to his chessboard.

"So, Lelouch, what's on your mind?" Haruhi asked.

"I can't stand this bickering." He replied flatly.

"Does this happen all the time?" She asked.

"Yes, unfortunately." He replied.

Haruhi decided to change the subject.

"Kuroba really is a good magician, isn't he?" Haruhi remarked to Lelouch.

The prince nodded. "Yes. Kuroba has a rather...flamboyant way of entertaining. He likes to show off a lot, and is a prankster. Although, without him, things might be more...peaceful." Lelouch remarked bitterly.

"I take it you two don't see eye to eye, am I right?" Haruhi asked.

He nodded stiffly before turning back to his book.

"What is that you're reading? _"How to take over the world for dummies?"" _Haruhi asked in bewilderment.

"N-No." Lelouch uttered.

"A book on chess?" Haruhi asked, realizing she had misread the title.

He nodded, again.

"Maybe you shouldn't bother Lelouch right now." Ed said.

"Why?" Haruhi asked.

"He lost at a game of chess to Mori." Ed said, snickering, but a withering glare from Lelouch made him stop laughing.

Haruhi sighed and decided to leave.

As she was headed toward the door, however...she happened to collide with Kyo, who was just coming back.

There was a puff of smoke, and Haruhi found herself holding Kyo as a cat...again.

"Who did that to me? Wait...you did? Only girls make me...wait?" Kyo stuttered.

The entire room fell into a hush.

Hunny spoke. "Haruhi...you're a girl?"

Haruhi blushed a deep red. "I guess...I'm caught now."

Lelouch looked unsurprised. "I knew from the start."

Ed gaped.

Sanji rushed over to her. "In that case, young maiden, would you like a date with me? I'll gladly pay for you!"

Yuki hit him. "Fujioka-san, don't encourage him." He remarked softly, as always.

Tamaki stood up. "All right...we're going to make you look like a girl!"

Ed grinned.

Lelouch sighed. "At least they're not going to do it to me." He muttered in relief.

Haruhi gulped.


	4. Chapter 4 Even more Chaos

A/N:Now I can revive this formerly dead fic of mine!

* * *

Chapter 4 Even more chaos

The Ouran High School Host Club was in an uproar again, like it always was. But why? The prestigious Ashford Academy was coming to visit them. Since honorary Ouran Host Club member Lelouch Lamperouge had courteously told them that he used to be a member of their Student Council, they had decided to invite his Student Council over to see them.

"The sad thing is..." Tamaki said melodramatically, "There is only one handsome guy on the council! The rest are all beautiful women!"

"That's bad," Tamahome said. "We can't get more handsome guys to join us."

"Not a problem," Kaito interjected. "I know plenty of guys who'd be willing to." The one person who popped into his mind was Shinichi Kudou. Though, Kudou might not like having to entertain women, but he did enough of it with his fans.

"Are all of them...girls?" Hunny said, looking excited.

"Yep!" Tamaki said.

"WHAT KIND OF LADIES WOULD THEY BE?" Sanji exclaimed, jumping out of his chair and startling Hunny.

"According to what Lelouch told me, one of them is the girl who visited yesterday." Haruhi said informatively.

"The plain, shy, Daphne type. So she's not a rich girl, then. Boring." Tamahome huffed in disgust.

"What would the other types be?" Sanji asked excitedly.

"Well...one of them is supposed to be shy, and types on a computer. She has a fear of Japanese people, so therefore...I'm going to rule her out." Haruhi said.

"I hate racists!" Tamaki said, and the rest all nodded in resignation. Most of them weren't even paying attention. Kyo and Yuki were too busy fighting with each other, and Kaito was entertaining himself with one of his doves. At least, until they heard this.

"The next one has red hair and blue eyes. Apparently, she's sickly, but she's shy and polite." Haruhi explained.

Somehow, everyone in the room glanced at Yuki, who paused.

"What? It's not like she'd be my type." He said solemnly.

Sanji jumped up. "Maybe she'd be the ideal woman for me!" He screeched.

"Sanji-san, you are _not_ to do anything more to the ladies than to entertain them. No kissing, no trying to drug their glasses..." Yuki said ominously.

"Love is a harsh battle." Sanji muttered, hanging his head down in shame.

"I agree, Sanji! After all, I am cursed with good looks, and no women even bother to look my way!" Tamaki sobbed melodramatically.

As if to contradict this statement, a few girls crowded around him, sobbing, "Oh, poor Tamaki. We will never ignore you."

"That's bad news for me." Sanji sobbed melodramatically. "_He'll steal all the hearts of these women at Ashford Academy, and I won't get to show them my beloved cooking." _He thought bitterly.

As if reading his mind, Kyo looked over at him. Honestly, he didn't like Sanji at all. He was too loud and obnoxious to be likeable. Some of the others here were...bearable, to say the least. Kaito was okay, as long as you could live with his constant pranks and arrogant remarks. Tamahome was just a rich boy who only cared about money and nothing more, but he was a great fighter.

Tamaki was the most wild member of their club, (though he was the founder of this wacky little club) who often made them do the most ridiculous of things. He had made Kyo a little mouse toy before when he had learned of his secret. Somehow, word had not gotten back to the Sohma house yet.

"I think the next girl is a girl whose name is Nunnally. She's a very gentle and sweet girl, but she's blind and crippled." Haruhi said solemnly.

The room grew silent.

"I shall make her day here a wonderful one." Yuki said softly.

"You'd better, because she's Lelouch's...younger sister. He has a sister complex." Hunny said.

Everyone flinched.

"A girl like that? Gee, I was expecting someone like Tohru's best friend!" Kyo exclaimed in shock, which caused everyone to glare at him. "What?"

"By the way, where is Lelouch?" Edward asked.

"He's...a little busy right now. I made him go shopping in order to buy all our supplies we will need for this special occasion!" Tamaki said happily.

"What's the theme this time?" Haruhi inquired, afraid that she would have to dress like a girl or something. She had been forced to enroll in their little club, after all.

"It's a secret." Tamaki said triumphantly.

Everyone in the room sighed. Knowing Tamaki, it was bound to be something chaotic. Ah, well...

"The last girl...is someone named...Euphie." Haruhi said.

* * *

Lelouch stared at the piece of paper in his hand. He tried to read the messy handwriting on there just to figure out WHAT Tamaki wanted. So far, he had gotten only two of the items on the list. A glass of water, a few cups, and...a bunch of...balls.

Lelouch wondered what the theme was going to be this time. Tamaki was well-known, even at Ashford, for his wacky outfits and themes, but this was good. He was almost like a male clone of Milly Ashford.

"Maybe I could get them together..." He said aloud, a smirk appearing on his face. He continued on, and entered a sporting goods store next. He also needed to check out a clothing store, too.

* * *

Milly Ashford sat at the head of her table, tapping her pen furiously. You could tell she was annoyed just by looking at her. When she wasn't in a good mood, that was never a good thing.

"Where is HE?" She said, a vein on her forehead.

Rivalz, Shirley, Kallen, Suzaku, Nina, Nunnally, and Euphie all looked at each other. All seven of them were very afraid of incurring Milly's wrath.

"I think he said he had shopping to do, Milly," Nunnally said sweetly. "I hope he gets home soon..."

Suzaku patted her hand softly. "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be here soon."

Euphemia smiled reassuringly and held her sister's hand. She had been shocked to see that both her previously-thought dead siblings were living, but it was also uplifting. She no longer had to be full of guilt over not protecting her siblings, because they were alive, but she couldn't tell anyone. "That's right, Nunnally."

"Actually, I think Lulu told me to keep my phone on. He said he had something to tell us." Shirley said.

"He's going to confess his love for you, Shirley! How sweet is that?" Milly said, making a kiss sound with her lips.

Shirley flushed cherry-red. "No, he's not the type to do that."

"And what about you two lovebirds over there? You two seem like you're awfully close." Milly said, pointing at Suzaku and Euphie, who both flushed.

"Where would you get that idea, Madam President?" Euphie asked nervously.

Whatever Milly would have said next was cut off by a cell phone ringing as Shirley's ringtone came on.

Shirley turned it on. "Hello?"

_"Hi, Shirley. I've got some things that I bought for a place I'm going to. You know, the place that I was at the other day. Tell the others that I'm inviting them over for a..."_

Shirley's eyes widened. "WHAT?"

_"Yes, Shirley. Don't make too big of a scene over it. Then they'll get suspicious. Act like it's something ordinary." _Lelouch said over the other end.

"Okay, Lulu. See you," Shirley said, smiling and hanging up. She turned to her friends. "Well...there's this place Lulu is inviting us over to. It's called the Ouran High School Host Club."

Everyone stared. "What's that?"

"It's a place where handsome men entertain women. But only women get to be entertained." Shirley said. "So, Lulu wants Kallen, Nana, Euphie, the Prez, and I to go. Suzaku and Rivalz have to stay behind."

Rivalz gasped. "How can you betray me like this, Shirley? I thought we were friends! Besides that, why do you want Milly to hang around with...other men?" He said, fuming with jealousy.

"Relax. It's only flirting, nothing more." Milly said.

"Eh? How did you know that?" Shirley exclaimed.

"A little bird told me that." Milly said vaguely. The orangette just looked at her like she was crazy.

* * *

Meanwhile, once Lelouch had returned with the shopping material, the Host Club started to prepare for its guests. Decoration of the walls had begun.

"Do we have enough sand?" Tamaki asked.

Hunny nodded, pouring sand into a small box and scattering it on the floor.

"How about water? We're going to need a freaking pool." Kyo said, pointing at the pair of swimming trunks he was wearing. He didn't want to swim, he hated water.

"Oh, there's a free pool we're being lent." Mori added vaguely, also in a pair of swimming trunks.

"We need to show off abs! Some don't, like Hunny." Tamaki added, gesturing to Hunny, who was wearing a small bathing suit, and holding a cup of lemonade, and a beach ball in his hands.

"Bun-Bun has his own outfit, too!" Hunny exclaimed, pointing at his rabbit, which was decorated up nicely as well.

"You're not going to make me wear a hula outfit, right?" Haruhi asked warily.

"No, we wouldn't want your identity to be divulged. Although, a hula outfit would not look bad on you, Yuki." Tamaki said, sneering at the purple-haired boy, who stiffened.

"I am not wearing anything that girly," Yuki protested.

"You have to, Sohma-san," Kaito added, also in a pair of swimming trunks, but carrying a surfboard with a wand on it, a pair of sunglasses. "By the way...you aren't going to put any fish in the pool, are you?" He said, trembling slightly.

"What's the matter, Kuroba? Here I thought you weren't afraid of anything! The answer is yes!" Ed hissed, smirking.

Kaito promptly fainted.


	5. Chapter 5 A new member?

A/N:Time for an update, everyone!

Chapter 5 A new member...?

Shinichi Kudou looked up from his book. "What do you want from me this time, KID? If it's about one of your heists, I'm not interested." He said crossly. He glared at the messy-haired teen who sat across from him at a cafe they were currently sitting in.

"C'mon, meitantei-san, can't you be a little more friendly? I mean, we've been friends for a year and a half now. Ever since we defeated those guys, you owe me one, know what I mean?" Kaito said cheerily, smirking at the teenage detective, who only rolled his eyes upon seeing the look on his face.

The teenage detective was silent for a few moments. The only noise he made was the turning of a page in his book. Then, he put it down, and looked directly at the magician. "What do you want?" He repeated seriously. "Because if it's something stupid, Kuroba, I will personally make sure you get an order of fish here." He said evilly.

Kaito shivered slightly at the mention of those Things-who-must-not-be-named who dwelled in water. It was one of the many reasons why he usually didn't prefer to swim in water that wasn't a swimming pool. If he had a heist and he had to land in the ocean, he'd much rather plan another heist that was far away from those things. "Meitantei-san, try being less serious and lighten up a little bit! I think you could use a bit of a vacation from detective work. Maybe try something fun?" He suggested.

Shinichi glared at him. "I will not put on a cape and a top hat and join you in your thievery, Mr. KID. That is contrary to what I believe." He remarked.

"Stop calling me that. We're in public, you know! Do you want me to get caught now?" Kaito hissed frantically. He had already noticed people giving them odd stares, now some of them were whispering things to each other. "On the other hand, maybe I could do...this." He said, standing up.

Shinichi wondered just what the crazy magician was going to, but he gasped upon seeing Kaito run into the ladies room, and a girl come walking out. He had no doubt in his mind that that was Kuroba, no matter what his mind told him to believe.

"Oh, I see that the detective Kudou Shinichi is sitting in this cafe! He's so hot!" Kaito gushed, then sent an evil look his way.

Shinichi sighed, but then he panicked upon seeing a whole bunch of adolescent girls, most of which appeared to be in junior high, headed towards him. They started forming a mob, and Shinichi decided now was best to hightail it. Kaito, however, had other ideas. He pulled Shinichi away, and led him out of the cafe.

"What was that for?" Shinichi hissed.

"Payback time, meitantei-san. I always wanted to try that, but I fiugured I'd wait until you stopped being three feet tall to do it." Kaito said. "Now, there is something interesting I'd like you to do for me. Why not dress up as a girl?"

Shinichi flinched, and turned green. "Kuroba, you know I will not do something _that _revolting." He protested.

Kaito's smile turned into a full-blown smirk as he leaned over and whispered, "I hear there are some very attractive girls at this place."

Shinichi blushed. "Fine. There'd better be something good behind this. If not, you will go to Seaworld." He said.

Kaito then turned green. "Why must you mention that horrible place? It haunts my nightmares!" Kaito said melodramatically. He remembered the first time he'd gone to Seaworld. He'd nearly been attacked by piranhas because he had stuck his hands in a tank in order to touch a pretty fish. He had been drenched by a giant whale during one of their shows, and that was a mortifying experience he could never get out of his head.

Kaito smirked. _Oh, you will enjoy your time there...at the Host club, Kudou. _

* * *

Milly Ashford watched the scenery go by as her grandfather drove her and her friends to the Ouran Host Club. She wondered how Tamaki was doing, and whether he was still as wild as ever. She supposed the answer was yes. After all, she had adopted some of her wild ideas from him, and he from her.

They were childhood friends, after all. However, she hadn't seen him in years due to the fact that he was an Eleven, and she a Britannian. Ever since her family was disinherited, she had only written letters to him and called him, but never visited.

Euphie shifted in her seat beside her. Her purple eyes were scrutinizing the view outside. "It's a nice day out, Nunnally."

Nunnally turned her head, and smiled. "Is it, Euphie?" She asked, being careful not to give away her sister's true identity, and her own as well. "What does it look like out there?"

"Well, we're going by a meadow right now, and there are dandelions and roses in full bloom. We're going to a fancy school." Euphie stated. There was a grain of truth in that statement, she supposed.

A look of delight made its way onto Nunnally's face. "Yay! That sounds fun, Euphie!"

Shirley smiled as well. "I wonder why we're going there." She lied, knowing that she was taking her friends to the same place that she had been to only a few days ago. Those guys were pretty funny and nice, but the only one she loved was Lulu. _Lulu, what are you up to? _

Kallen flinched. "I hate this." She murmured as the other four students laughed. _Why am I stuck here with all these idiots when I could be helping win back Japan? _

She remembered that she was forced into doing this, and that she really had no choice but to grit her teeth and wait it out. The first chance she got, she was getting out of here. She didn't want to fool around with Britannians and their stupid parties.

Shirley noticed her discomfort, and smiled reassuringly at her. "Are you worried that you'll get sick?" She asked in concern.

Kallen shook her head. "No, it's just...I'm a little nervous, going into Eleven terrority." She lied. How she hated to say that word, but if she wanted to pass herself off as a normal Britannian girl, she had no choice.

Finally, they stopped in front of a huge, expensive school. Her grandfather opened the door for them and allowed Milly, Shirley, and Kallen to come out first. Euphemia came out last, lifting Nunnally out and then carrying out her wheelchair and placing her in it.

"Thank you, Sister Euphie." She said sweetly.

Shirley turned to look at Nunnally. "Did you say sister, Nana?" She blurted.

Euphie stopped. "Oh, no. She was joking around. Er, well...maybe the pretense is up. I am really Euphemia li Britannia, the third princess of the Empire, and this is my sister, Nunnally vi Britannia. But please don't tell anyone." She said.

Shirley gasped. "Then...Lulu is...a prince?" She stuttered. She remembered the prince her father had told her about a long time ago, the one who had come to Japan and was supposed to be dead. She never suspected that that prince was beside her every day in class, talked to her, and laughed with her. This was startling information for the orangette.

"Don't tell anyone, you got that." Milly said.

Everyone nodded.

They went into a door, and once they opened it...

* * *

SPLASH!

Shirley and Milly both fell headfirst into a pool of water. Both of them flailed around, until two people seized them by the arms and carried them out. Shirley looked up to find herself looking at a boy with messy orange hair, and bright red eyes. Beside him was a boy with purple hair and eyes. Both of them were wearing no shirts.

Shirley screamed and backed away, her face now cherry red. Milly just grinned.

"Thanks for saving us." Milly said suavely, grinning evilly.

"No problem. It is good to see you again, Miss Fenette." Yuki said politely, bowing to her. This caused Shirley to flush so red, it almost matched her hair.

"Yeah, whatever! I just didn't want you to drown!" Kyo said, huffing and turning away.

Yuki only said, "Don't mind him, he's always like that."

Suddenly, the lights flickered on, to reveal a group of nine boys. Most were not wearing a shirt.

"MAY I INTRODUCE...THE OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB!" A blond boy with blue eyes announced, throwing his arms in the air for emphasis.

"I'm Tamahome." A boy with a strange shape on his forehead said. He seemed muscular.

"I'm Sanji. All of you ladies are welcome to try my delicious home-made stew." A man with blond hair who was smoking a cigarette said.

"I'm Hunny, and this is Takeshi." A small boy said, pointing to the tall, quiet stranger who was beside him.

"Those two are Yuki and Kyo Sohma." Hunny pointed out.

"We just met." Shirley said, smiling at Yuki. She thought this boy was cute.

"And there is...the master of shortness!" The blond boy announced.

"DON'T CALL ME SHORT, YOU ARROGANT ASSHOLE!" A loud voice shrieked, and suddenly the blond boy was sent flying. Shirley's eyes widened to see a boy with golden blond hair that was tied back in a loose braid who was very short, punching the older boy.

"This is Edward Elric." He said, trying hard to sit up, despite the fact that now he had one black eye and a tooth was missing out of his mouth. "Despite his size, he is strong and is sixteen years old."

Edward strode over to meet each of them. He shook Kallen's hand, and Milly's, and Euphie's. When he came to Nunnally, he said softly, "Let me shake your hand." He did, and she smiled.

"Are you Lelouch's friend?" Nunnally questioned.

"Yes. It's nice to meet you. You're as cute as Lelouch described you." Ed said, causing Nunnally to giggle.

"You are truly a pretty girl! Say, how about we go out on a date?" Sanji cried, rushing over to Nunnally, but froze upon seeing Lelouch standing there menacingly in front of his little sister.

"No. The only one who gets to date Nunnally is Suzaku. Er, wait...I don't know. Nunnally, who do you like?" Lelouch asked, turning to face her.

"Suzaku. But he's not here at the moment, so...I'd prefer..."

* * *

"I have returned, Suoh-san. I also brought a friend of mine along for the ride." A suave voice said, and then a rose hit the ground. Everyone looked up to see a boy dressed in a magician's typical outfit, complete with a cape, and a top hat come sailing through the air and land lightly on the ground. His eyes widened upon seeing Nunnally and Euphie. "Ah, you two are very beautiful. If I wouldn't know better, I would say two princesses have absconded from their castle today to meet me."

Nunnally and Euphie both blushed. "Thank you...Mr." Nunnally stopped.

"Here is a rose for you. Go ahead and smell it. I'm Tuxedo Mask." Kaito said, bowing in front of Nunnally, but since she couldn't see him, that was meaningless for her.

She took the rose and smelled it. "This smells delicious!"

"You are not Tuxedo Mask, barou! You are just a screwball magician named Kuroba Kaito." A new voice said.

Kaito took off the black top hat and the glasses and bowed in front of the new person. "My apologies, Kudou-san. For I did not know...you were not into thieves." He said. "Perhaps, shall I interest you in a kiss?" He said, reaching for Kudou's hand.

The latter pushed him away. "Lay off! My girlfriend-er boyfriend will be displeased if he hears I've been seeing other men." A high voice said, though it sounded rather masculine.

"May I introduce...my friend...Kudou Shiina." Kaito said, stepping back and showing a girl with long brown hair and cobalt blue eyes. She wore a schoolgirl outfit and was staring down at the ground. No one noticed how "Shiina"s hands were tightening in annoyance, or how angry "she" really was.

"Aww, she's cute! Are you rich?" Tamahome exclaimed, running up to Shiina, and taking her hand in his. "Your eyes are so awesome!"

Shiina gripped his hand in annoyance, but Tamahome assumed it was because she was shy.

"Are you scared? This is probably the first time you've been alone with a whole bunch of men!" Tamahome crooned, taking her hand again and looking at her lovingly "Don't worry, I will protect you!"

"URUSEI, BAKA! I mean...thank you." Shiina said, trying not to spill her identity. "I mean...I've never been this afraid before..." She said, looking up at him with sparkly eyes.

Tamahome got a nosebleed then and had to go to the nurse's office. While he was away, Shirley and Euphemia came over to Shiina.

"You're kind of cute. You kinda sound like a guy, though." Shirley said. Shiina was cute, but she seemed a little masculine. Her voice, she seemed to be practically flat, ...and her legs definitely needed a shave.

Shiina gasped. "Oh, maybe that's because I sometimes like to sound like one!" She lied, but when everyone gave her odd stares, she cleared her throat. "Um, I guess I'm busted." She said, and she ripped off her hair, which was a wig, to show that she really had short chestnut hair, which was messy and had a cowlick on top. Suddenly, a cherry-shaped sphere went in front of Shiina, and then pink smoke covered her. When it was gone, a teenage _boy _stood in her place. He was wearing an ordinary shirt and pants under the school outfit.

"You're a boy?" Euphemia uttered, at a loss for words at the moment. She didn't believe this.

"Yes." He admitted. "This barou made me dress up as a girl in order to try and induct me into his stupid club-but it failed. I'm Kudou Shinichi, by the way. Nice to meet you." He said, shaking her hand.

"You're cute." Euphie said, giggling. Her face was a little red.

He winked at her. He looked even more cute doing that. He wasn't as cute as Suzaku, though.

Lelouch walked over to him and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Kudou. I'm Lelouch." He said dully.

"Same here." Shinichi said. "Umm...I was wondering, are you guys still going to put me in your club?"

The evil leers on the faces of the guys around him answered his question.

"A cross-dressing guy and a cross-dressing girl...this could work!" Tamaki exclaimed. "Oh, Haruhi! Where are you, Haruhi?" He exclaimed.

A redhead came out, looking bored. He looked like a boy. "What is it?"

"Wanna put on a dress? This guy might be your match!" Tamaki said, pointing to Shinichi. "So, are you playing for the other team?"

Shinichi flinched. "No, I have a girlfriend. And that was his fault!" He exclaimed, pointing at Kaito.

"Okay, let's go! Let's go put you in a dress, Kaito!" Tamahome taunted. "With fish on it!"

"That would sound delicious!" Kyo said, his eyes shining, but upon receiving a withering glare from Yuki, decided to stop.

"By the way, Kudou-san, what does barou mean?" Nunnally asked.

"Barou? Oh, idiot." Shinichi said.


	6. Chapter 6 Club Ouranica

**A/N:Yes, the chapter is a parody of one of my favorite songs. Whoever guesses it gets a cookie! **

**Chapter 6 Club Ouranica **

"Are you sure you're not going to be a bad influence on my sister? I mean, you were cross dressing, and now you told her a Japanese insult..." Lelouch trailed off.

Shinichi sighed. "_Look, Rurushu-san, don't worry about it. The thing is, it wasn't my fault. Kuroba made me do it." _He said softly. "_He likes messing around with everybody_."

Upon seeing Lelouch, Euphemia, Shirley, Nunnally, and the others cast him confused glances, he rubbed the back of his neck. "Ehehehe...I speak Japanese, you know. I'm a native, so it's my first language." He said.

Shirley was the first to speak. "Oh, so that's how Elevens sound when they speak their language! Say something in Japanese!" She urged.

"What exactly do you want me to say?" He asked.

"Umm...the sun and the moon's reflections are in the mirror of Earth. " She said randomly.

_"Taiyou to Tsuki no sugata ni Chikyuu no kagami ga irimasu." _He said. 1

"That sounds so cool!" She squealed.

"I happen to know Japanese, too, Shirley! Would you like to hear me say "I love you, my darling!" in Japanese?" Sanji echoed, and came towards her, only to be punched in the face by Lelouch.

"Keep your hands off of Shirley!" He said protectively.

"Lulu...you...really?" Shirley began.

"I thought Lelouch was in love with Euphie!" Nunnally announced, at the most _inopportune_ moment possible, which caused everyone to fall into an awkward silence.

Kyo was the first to speak. "You mean...he's in love with his sister? That's gross!" He said in disgust.

Yuki sighed. He tried to punch Kyo in the face, but he ended up tripping over someone's feet. He looked up to see a startled redhead looking at him, her wide blue eyes full of shock. "Whatever is the matter?" He asked.

The redhead shrieked. "AAH! HE'S A RAT! AND HE...TAL-"

Kyo was on it in a second. He quickly knocked her out and administered the thing Akito had told him would erase people's memories if they found out their secret. He had to admit; it could be useful at times, (especially when he wanted to keep people from finding out their secret.) The host club members were used to it by now, but Shirley, Euphie, Shinichi, and Milly were open-mouthed.

Lelouch's face was now beet red from what Kyo had just blurted out. "I-I-t's not like that at all! She's only my sister!"

Tamaki grinned evilly. "Oh, so you're a lolicon. That explains..._a lot of things." _He snickered darkly.

Lelouch shivered suddenly. "Is it just me, or is there a draft in here?" He said nervously.

Shirley blinked a few times. "It's not cold in here at all, Lulu! I mean, the water's a little cold, but I'm used to it, since I swim!" She exclaimed. Her face was bright and happy. Apparently, she hadn't gotten the meaning of what he had said.

"Shirley, you like water, don't you? I only wish I could swim." Nunnally said wistfully. There was a trace of sadness in her voice.

Lelouch's eyes widened. "Don't worry, Nunnally. Someday, you'll be able to swim." He said softly.

* * *

Ed was watching all of them. They were all cute girls, but his eyes were drawn to the orangette. _She sure has a nice body. And those green eyes of hers...she's gorgeous. She's cute, too. Too bad she likes Lelouch. _Ed thought.

"Who are you looking at, Edward? Do you find any of the girls here...attractive?" Sanji questioned.

Ed's face reddened slightly. "Well...uh, um, maybe."

Shinichi smirked. "Which one is it?" He asked, in English.

Ed frowned at him. "Like I'm going to tell you! It's a girl with red hair-oh, crap!" He exclaimed, and covered his mouth with his left hand. Shinichi noticed both of his hands had gloves on.

"Why are you wearing gloves in this kind of weather? It's awfully hot outside." Shinichi asked curiously.

"A-A-Ah, no reason at all!" Ed stammered, his face growing even more red.

"Edward seems embarrassed, Nunnally. "Milly teased.

"Hey, Edward. Are you in love with Shirley?" Nunnally deduced.

Shirley's mouth dropped open at that point. Ed's face grew even redder, if that was possible. Now, steam was coming out of his ears, and his face was the color of a tomato.

"NO! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL! I MEAN, SHE IS PRETTY AND STUFF, BUT! "He exclaimed.

"Ed likes Shirley! Ed likes Shirley!" Hunny taunted.

"SHUT UP, HUNNY!" Ed yelped, though his face was still cherry red.

Mori frowned at this. "Don't tell him to shut up." He said dully, but there was an underlying threat in those words.

Ed immediately backed away and pretended he didn't exist.

* * *

Shinichi glanced around at everyone, and then decided to talk to Lelouch. "Is everyone in here always eccentric?" He asked.

Lelouch blinked. "Yep, they are. I'm used to it, though. Tamaki is the one who started this entire thing. He enjoys humiliating new members in all kinds of embarrassing ways-" He placed his hand over his mouth.

Shinichi's eyes widened momentarily. "I take it he's going to do something to me, huh?" He asked.

"He does it to everyone, so don't you worry!" Ed chimed in.

Shirley approached Ed. "Is it true that you're in love with me?"

Ed's face flushed again. "N-No, that's a lie! "

"Ah, but what if she's stating the truth, Elric-san?" A familiar voice uttered, and Shinichi turned around and was unsurprised to see Kaito back up on his feet.

"Still alive? I thought you'd finally croaked." Shinichi remarked bluntly.

"Oh, meitantei-san. That hurts me deep inside." Kaito said melodramatically, clutching his chest. "How it hurts me when you say that!"

"It doesn't really hurt you at all, does it?" Tamahome cut in, apparently having returned from the nurse's office. "Where's Shiina-chan?" He asked.

"I'm her. I was forced to cross-dress by Kaito." Shinichi explained.

Tamahome's jaw dropped open. "Then, I was holding...a guy's hand?"

Shinichi nodded solemnly. "Yes. That's true. I never wanted to do it." Shinichi admitted.

Tamahome's face turned pale, and then he passed out.

* * *

Kyo approached. "Looks like you have the rare talent of shutting a guy like him up. Most of the time, all he does is yammer on about how strong he is...but you knocked him off his high horse. That's a new record. I'm Kyo Sohma. You're Kudou Shinichi, correct?" He asked politely.

Shinichi nodded, and shook his hand politely. "Nice to meet you, Sohma-san. My friend talks a lot about this club of his. He practically forced me into it." He confessed.

Kyo shook his head. "Kuroba is a legend around here. He has talent for attracting girls, I'll give him that. The problem is, he's far too cliched. Girls need something more inventive than the dreamy, mysterious guys in capes and top hats who whisper saccharine phrases into their ears." He explained.

"I agree that does seem embarrassing. But, a lot of girls I know seem to go for that kind of thing, so...I think girls should be more into people who are intellectual. I read a lot, but I get a lot of girls. Fans, I mean." He lied.

"Fans? When you say fans, are you implying that you are well-known in some way, Kudou-san?" A thoughtful voice said from behind them. Shinichi and Kyo turned their heads to see Yuki in the door.

"Were you...um...changing?" Kyo said awkwardly. Shinichi thought his concern sounded rather...forced. Almost like they didn't get along.

Yuki nodded solemnly. "Yes, stupid cat. What's it to you, anyway? Is what I do really your concern?" He said coldly.

Shinichi flinched. Why did these two seem to remind him of the relationship Kaito had with that British detective? The one who was always conceited and full of himself, according to Kaito. Shinichi was forced to listen to his friend describe...er, complain about how much he disliked the British detective.

Secretly, Shinichi did respect Kaito, to a certain degree. He thought his ideals were good, but he thought that he ought to obey the law in order to do the right thing. As long as KID didn't hurt or kill anyone, or allow anyone to get hurt or killed, he was happy. Sometimes they fought, but they were becoming better friends...though, friends was pushing it. Partners was a better way to describe their relationship.

"Yo, meitantei-san! Aren't you going to participate in the main event today?" Kaito called. Shinichi winced upon realizing that Kaito had nothing on but a pair of swimming trunks...with fish on them. He was also wearing a fish pool toy around his stomach. The look on his face was akin to disgust and misery. "Please...help me get these revolting things off me!" He begged, a puppy-dog look on his face.

* * *

"I didn't know the brave magician was afraid of tiny, harmless fish!" Milly taunted. "Do you like Swedish Fish?" She uttered, waving a bag in front of his face.

"Oi, lay off!" Kaito exclaimed.

"As for you..." She said, turning her attention to Lelouch. "I have a special task for you. In exchange for you wasting all of your time here and not attending important student council events, you get to do a free fitness trial!" Milly purred, a sadistic smile on her face.

Lelouch shivered. "You know I'm physically inept! How dare you take advantage of that!" He yelped.

"Rules must be followed." She retorted.

"_Are you sure about that, ojou-san?" _Kaito countered.

Milly only looked at him in confusion. "Are you speaking in Japanese again? Cut that out!"

Kaito leaned towards her face. "Would you like to hear my true feelings for you? They're in my lips." He said suavely, and kissed her right on the lips. Then, there was a puff of smoke, and he disappeared.

Milly gaped at the sudden effrontery this boy had, to go and humiliate her at her own game! "H-H-How dare he! Such insolence will not be tolerated! Student council, don't listen to him anymore!" She exclaimed.

Shirley, Euphemia, and Kallen were all laughing, or struggling to suppress their laughter. Ed, Kyo, Sanji, and Shinichi were laughing out loud.

"Madam President, you ought to look in a mirror! You might not like what you see!" Shirley said, halfway through giggling.

Milly fumed the second she saw her reflection. Not only did she have a giant kiss mark on her face, her hair was now a bright shade of green! She screamed.

"I believe that's score one for the Ouran host club!" Tamaki cut in, grinning victoriously at her.

Milly glared at him. "Bring it on, rich boy. Bring it on." She challenged, getting in his face.

"Who bets I am going to win?" Milly said.

Half of the people in the room raised their hands for Tamaki. The only ones who raised their hands for Milly were Nunnally, Shirley, Kallen, and Euphemia. For some reason, Lelouch had voted for Tamaki.

"Lelouch...what is the meaning of this...this..betrayal?" She screeched, digging her nails into his shoulder.

He cringed. "Stop that. I have no idea what you're talking about." He said laconically.

"I believe he's telling the truth!" Hunny protested. "Mr. Bun-Bun thinks so, too!" He said.

"Well, Mr. Bun-Bun doesn't exist!" Milly added.

Hunny's eyes filled up with tears. "Did you hear that, Mr. Bun-Bun? Milly is mean!" He cried, and tears started pouring down his cheeks. Instantly, Euphie and Shirley raced to his side.

"Don't cry, Hunny! It's okay!" Shirley consoled.

"I love bunnies!" Euphie said. "How about you, Nunnally?"

Nunnally had a wistful look on her face. "I forget what bunnies look like. I remember how warm and cuddly they feel." She said tenderly. "This bun-bun of yours sounds nice. Can I touch it?"

Mori dove in front of Hunny, but upon seeing Nunnally's warmhearted smile, he gave in. Nunnally felt the rabbit with her hands. "It feels nice! He seems like a nice bunny!" She chirped.

Hunny was beaming at her. He was instantly attracted to her. "You're so cool!" He exclaimed.

1:Exactly what Shirley said in English.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm looking forward to your comments and responses about this story. It's fun and everything, but it's not really one I update much. **

**Chapter 7 Ashford Vs Ouran (Part One) **

* * *

"So, have you grown up at all, little Miss Ashford?" Tamaki taunted derisively. Milly had a poor temper and hated to lose. Generally speaking, she would throw a hissy fit if she lost, and those could be quite scary and terrifying to watch. She tensed briefly, but calmed outwardly.

_Think, Milly Ashford. Think. He's obviously trying to unnerve me. However I will...NOT GIVE IN! _

"You think you're _so_ tough, don't you, Mr. Suoh?"

Shinichi sighed. He knew where this was going. She was trying to stroke his ego now in order to let him drop his guard. Women were easy to read once you knew one. This girl reminded him of Sonoko and that was a scary thought.

Lelouch shivered. He did not want to see Milly at her worst. "I fear the end is near..." He whined.

Ed stared at him in uncomprehending confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I'm scared, Takeshi. Hold me, hold me!" Hunny whimpered.

"It's all right, Hunny. Whoever makes you sad will regret it _dearly..." _He flashed a dark glare at everyone else in the room, who paled and pretended that they didn't exist.

"Madam President, are you all right?" Shirley asked gently, but as she tried to come towards her, Ed pulled her back.

"I wouldn't approach her now that she's a demon. You're safe here with me...er..." Ed's face flushed bright red as he realized _what _he was implying.

"Oh, has little Eddie got a crush on Miss Shirley?" Tamahome teased.

"SHUT UP, YOU JERK!" Ed screamed at the top of his lungs.

Tamahome just laughed. "So, you DO like her, huh?" He taunted.

"I-Is that true, Edward?" Shirley asked cluelessly, unaware of the fact that a certain black-haired boy was currently glaring daggers at Ed.

"I actually like Miss Nunnally." Yuki cut in. Lelouch glared at him as well.

"Don't touch her." He hissed darkly, a huge storm cloud gathering around him. Suddenly, rain poured down on Lelouch's head until he was soaking wet and thunder boomed.

"What a sister complex. How gross." Kyo muttered. "I like the new guy better than the Emo Prince."

"I like Kudo. He's funny." Euphemia giggled, and then flushed a deep scarlet.

Shinichi sighed. "Sorry...I already have a girlfriend."

"What is the lovely young lady's name, if I may be so kind to ask?" Sanji exclaimed, jumping in the air like a rabbit.

"...None of your business." He hissed.

"I have now decided. The next round shall be...a love game!" Tamaki declared, but suddenly no one was paying attention to him anymore, so he decided to sulk over in the corner.

"Everyone here is nuts." Haruhi mumbled to herself.

"How offensive! I take offense to that!" Kaito cried in mock pain.

"You're _far from normal, _Kuroba. Mr. I hate fish." Shinichi remarked snidely.

"Hey, at least I'm not a pipsqueak!" Kaito snapped, but that turned out to be the wrong thing to say.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT-" Ed screamed.

"I wasn't referring to you." Kaito cut in pointedly.

"Someone's touchy." Kyo retorted.

"Are we going to fight, or are we going to make this work?" Tamaki cried, brandishing a whip and he struck Kyo first with it.

"Where the _hell _did you get that at?"

"Mind your manners, you stupid cat." Yuki muttered darkly.

"I won't let you lecture me, you stupid rat! Prepare to die!"

Suddenly, Kyo leapt in the air and lunged at Yuki with a drop kick. Everyone except the host club watched in shock.

"Here we go again..." Ed trailed off.

"That's the fiftieth time this month." Tamahome replied dryly.

"They always do this and they get so scary!" Hunny whined.

"Don't fight!" Euphie cried, but Lelouch held her back.

"No, Euphie. This isn't the time to try and be a hero." He shook his head at her in disapproval.

Euphie's purple eyes grew sad. "But, fighting is wrong..."

"Of course it is, but don't say that to them. They have been fighting all their lives." Tamahome explained briefly, massaging her shoulders for some unexplained reason. "So...can I go out with you?"

Euphie promptly smacked him in the face. "Hands off of me, you oaf!"

"Big sister Euphie, you're tough to everyone, even on boys." Nunnally joked.

Lelouch laughed. "She hasn't changed that much."

"How do you know a princess?" Kallen asked warily.

"We're half-brother and sister!" Euphie cried, and then covered her mouth in disbelief.

Kallen, Shirley, and most of the Host Club gaped. Hunny froze as if he had been struck dumb. Even Yuki and Kyo stopped their fighting.

"You're a _prince?" _Kyo questioned. When Lelouch nodded, he smirked. "HA! That explains your conceited nature!"

Yuki bopped Kyo hard on the head and then kicked him hard in the stomach, sending him headfirst into the pool. Instantly, Kyo panicked and swam back up to the surface. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" He hissed.

"I was just teaching you a lesson, you stupid cat." Yuki said calmly.

"They really hate each other, don't they?" Shinichi remarked dryly, raising an eyebrow at the scene before him.

"Oh, boy. I think it's time to go. I have a crew to feed." Sanji said sadly. "See you later, ladies!" Sanji said, and then he sped off.

Everyone sweat-dropped.

"Did he say he has a **crew? **Is he a **sailor?" **Shirley stuttered.

* * *

Lelouch started chuckling. "You could put it like that. Oh, I just received a text message from Hikaru and Kaoru!" He said lightly.

Yuki, Kyo, Kaito, Ed, Tamaki, Tamahome, Hunny, Mori, Shinichi, and the girls (except for Nunnally) all crowded around him curiously.

"Really?" Tamaki asked in disbelief.

"Let me see!" Kyo cried.

"No, I want to see!" Tamahome cried. "They are my friends!"

"What the hell?" Shinichi cried, and immediately he backed away as a sudden fistfight developed among the group. He sighed as he noticed a panicked Lelouch try to run away from them.

"They're coming back from France. They got some new recruits!" Hunny exclaimed.

Confetti fell down from the ceiling and everyone started cheering. Tamaki started to dance for no apparent reason. Kaito tossed coins in the air. Tamahome started to cheer and do a flip upside down, which caused Yuki and Kyo to stare at him like he was crazy.

Lelouch stared at the phone, and then stood morosely, staring at the chaos around him as though it didn't bother him in the slightest.

"This is annoying." Shinichi remarked to Lelouch, who nodded.

"It seems you and I are in agreement." He replied coldly. "We are both intellectuals trapped in a tragic world of idiots."

"I'm not an idiot." Kallen protested.

"We weren't being specific!" Both of them cried.

"Okay...geez." She snapped.

"This is a glorious day, and truly it is!" Tamaki cried, wiping tears from his eyes with a handkerchief.

"Who are they, anyway? Those two guys you're so excited over?" Ed asked curiously.

"They're twins who are some of the best contenders we have! Unlike you lot, they actually work hard, are charming for ladies, and are polite! ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED!" Tamaki screamed, whipping out a scroll of parchment. He started to read off of it.

* * *

"First, Edward Elric! You lose your temper too much and have scared off twenty female customers! That's twenty _women _with lovely cash gone, lost, never to be seen again! You scared off too many, especially after the milk incident-"

Ed flinched. "But, Tamaki-"

"NO BUTS! SHAPE UP YOUR ACT!" Tamaki cried, and then his gaze turned to someone else.

"Second...Lelouch Lamperouge! Stop playing chess this instant and look at me! Yes, **you! **You have too much arrogance and a bad habit of gambling with girls! You also took my prize set of shoes!"

Lelouch merely shrugged. "I was cold. Besides, you can always buy a new pair of shoes."

"That's irrelevant! You stole them! Act more mature!" He cried.

"Third, Kyo and Yuki Sohma! Your fighting has cost us dozens of yen because we have had to repair every little bit of broken furniture in here! You have messed up so much stuff in here that it's nearly impossible to get any new things in here now! We can't even get any channels anymore besides the Reality Show Network!" Tamaki screamed.

"H-HAVE MERCY!" Kyo screamed, literally shaking in terror. "I hate those horrid, filthy things..."

"Hey, I actually like some of them! Like the Tokyo Banks, that one is sooo awesome!" Kaito uttered stupidly. Everyone glared at him until he backed away in utter terror.

"I prefer intellectually stimulating shows, not overrated pieces of garbage." Shinichi remarked.

"As if watching people solve crimes is intellectually stimulating! I hate those stupid shows!" Kaito mocked.

"How, specifically, are reality shows "reality?" They're shallow, superficial, stupid, and fake!" Lelouch remarked coldly.

"Lulu, I LIKE them!" Shirley protested.

"That might explain why your IQ isn't that high." Kyo pointed out.

"Well said!" Tamahome cut in.

"Watch it before you judge!" Shirley cried, and then she picked up the remote and turned on the TV to a channel hosted by...

* * *

"This is the Renge Hoshakuji network, ahaahaaha! We are so awesome, and you will see every reality show possible, thanks to our new programming deal with the networks who have agreed to cut every other channel off the air in place of our network! I also rewired most of the circuits in a certain host club..."

"RENGE! SO THIS WAS HER DOING, HUH?" Tamaki exclaimed.

"That stupid fangirl. She tried to tell me to stop screaming at people about my height." Ed growled.

"Who the heck is she?" Haruhi asked. She sighed. Would her inane, crazy-ass days in the host club ever end? As if!

"Ha ha ha! I see you fools saw through our little trick! We are so disappointed that you didn't fall for it!" Renge ranted.

"Is she crazy or something?" Shinichi said out loud.

"Oh, here is a lovely boy! Won't you marry me, honey-bunch!" Renge exclaimed.

"No, I hate fangirls. Besides, why do you refer to yourself in the third person? Are you possibly a megalomaniac?"

"That _could _be a possibility..." Yuki said thoughtfully.

"Hey, was that an insult, Sohma-san? Anyway, listen up, you buffoons! You need to watch all of the reality shows, and if you don't within the next twenty-four hours...I will torture the twins and their new recruits to death!" Renge exclaimed. Then she suddenly went into a maniacal fit of laughter.

Lightning flashed around her. Thunder boomed out of the sky. A cat meowed as someone ran over it.

"What a cheesy sound effect. I can tell that she's faking those sound effects-there's a recorder right under her feet!"

"Take a good look at them!" Renge pointed to a wall beside her, where five people were chained up.

"Let us out of here, you crazy witch!" Hikaru protested.

"Oh, my beloved Hikaru, you shouldn't worry! I'll save you!" Kaoru exclaimed.

A blond-haired boy over to their right stared at them in annoyance. "Can you shut up?"

A dark-haired young man beside him scowled. "No, _I _will get them to shut up, Bocchan!"

The blond boy kicked him. "No, you're not to call me master!"

"You'll call _me _master!" A gray-haired man carrying a puppet declared. "Isn't that right, Emily?"

_**A/N:What anime are they from? Any guesses will be appreciated. **_

"Shut up, slave!" Renge yelped before the screen went black and then she reappeared. "You have a short time to decide, Host Club!"

The screen then became full of white static.

* * *

"Hey, it's my favorite channel! The snow channel!" Kaito cried sarcastically.

"Knock it off. This...foul, filthy, _demon _needs to be stopped." Tamaki cried.

"Poor Hikaru and Kaoru, they were always so...so...sweet and dedicated to justice!" Hunny wept bitterly into a small handkerchief and cried all over the place. Even Mori looked sad.

A black coffin appeared out of nowhere and Kaito suddenly lit candles and moped over it. "R.I.P...lovely twin-san!"

"What the hell are you idiots doing!" Ed yelped. "For god's sake you morons, he's being held hostage, and you guys are sitting here doing nothing!"

"Cheer up, you idiots! We can still save him!" Tamahome exclaimed.

"There's hope!" Shinichi said, trying to sound hopeful. "We've got our suspect, so let's go-"

"Are you serious? She'll skin us alive! There's no way a guy could go up against her and survive!" Tamaki shouted.

* * *

A smirk made its way on Shinichi's face. "Then, count yourselves lucky that you have a detective right here!"

"WHAT!" Everyone cried except for Kaito.

"Are you mad?" Tamaki cried. "There's no way-"

"Your face does look familiar." Kyo trailed off.

"He's not joking! He _is _a real-life detective! He's Kudo Shinichi, the high-school detective! Don't you read the papers!" Kaito exclaimed.

"I see...we _do _have an advantage." Kyo remarked slyly. "Having a detective on our side would be quite useful."

"So, are you guys going to try me?" Shinichi challenged.

Euphemia stared worriedly at them. "What about us?"

"Stay here and guard the place!" Shinichi commanded.

"We'll try our hardest to get them all back!" Everyone except the girls cried. They all put their hands together and cheered.

"Yosh, minna! I have a good plan! So, listen closely-" Shinichi said confidently.

"So, how do you suggest we do this?" Tamaki said, smirking slightly.

"Well...first we'll need to improvise a little bit on disguises..."

* * *

It was cold and dark in the dungeon of the crazy Renge Hoshakuji, who had imprisoned dozens of hapless men who happened to fall under her spell. Unfortunately, some of the Host Club were imprisoned there as well.

Hikaru sat on the floor, his arms shackled to the wall. "God knows what I would do to get out of here!"

"Don't you worry, my beloved Hikaru! The witch will get tired of us sooner or later, and then we'll be freed!"

"They're so irritating, Bocchan!" The black-haired man next to them grumbled.

"Shut it, Gil! Cheer up, at least we're down here with Break!" The blond chirped cheerfully.

"THAT'S what I'm afraid of." Gil mumbled again, stealing a glance at the creepy white-haired man beside them, who was currently talking to the doll.

"He's terrifying." Hikaru whined.

"Hey, I heard that!" Break cried. "With our luck, Sharon and Alice-chan should be coming soon!"

Oz shivered suddenly. "They're gonna be real mad, though..."

Inside Oz, Jack suddenly shivered. He knew that somewhere, a certain black-haired girl was very angry. "Even Glen would tremble at her wrath." He whined.

"Geez, Jack...you're scared of her, too!" Oz sighed.

Jack nodded his head. "But no one compares to Glen when he's angry..."

"Are you talking to yourself?" Hikaru asked.

"Great, we picked up a schizo, a person with an obsessive-compulsive disorder, and a puppet man. Can things ever get any more fun?" Hikaru asked.

"I'm not a schizo!" Oz cried. "I just like talking to a creepy dead man who died-"

"N-Nothing."


	8. Chapter 8 Freedom and more complications

A/N:I love this fanfic. Of course, you have to love a story to continue updating it, of course. Anywho, I do not own any of the anime characters in here.

Chapter 8 Freedom and other complications

* * *

"Are you absolutely _sure _this plan will work, Kudo?" Yuki said. Currently, they were all in disguises as they headed towards their destination...though the path they were taking was a little...unsavory.

"This _has _to work, you know," Shinichi hissed back at him. Right now, they were all in a sewer...Shinichi had to explain it in a way that Kaito would understand and accept. Even the fish freak had reluctantly agreed to venture into the sewers, though he had been annoying the others half to death by whining about the possible fish or sea serpents that could be under the water.

Kaito shivered as he edged away from the water they were currently passing by. "I hope there are no fish in that sewer water."

"Relax, magic leprechaun. At least, the worst thing there will be some dead fish," Kyo sneeered.

"Stop mocking me!" Kaito protested. "I hate it when you exploit my weaknesses, you know that."

"Too bad, magic boy! We're going to have to be on our guard, in case the fangirls catch us!" Tamahome hissed.

"I'll charm them with my magic touch!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"That's the LAST thing we need," Ed snapped. "We have to lie low. We can't have you flirting with girls on the job!"

Tamaki sunk to his knees. "Haruhi, this is all _your _fault."

"Why would it be MY fault? You're the ones who sent the others in the first place." Haruhi remarked. She was the only one who had been forced to dress in an ordinary outfit, for fear that her identity as a girl would be found out.

Tamaki was dressed as a janitor, much to his chagrin. He was not used to hiding his rich, beautiful body under such plain, drab clothing.

"I hate this plan! It's just going to fail!" Kyo whined.

"Shut up, you stupid cat. If your obnoxious voice gets us found out, you'll receive more than a beating," Yuki warned. Several rats were already crowding around him. "My companions seem to agree with me."

"Rats? Cool!" Ed cried. He beckoned his hand and one came towards him and went on his shirt and then back to Yuki.

"You're not afraid of them?" Lelouch asked, looking a little pale at the sight of the rats.

"They're my friends," Yuki said dully.

"They're GROSS!" Hunny whined.

Yuki flashed him a cold stare. "What did you say?"

Hunny flinched. "Wahh, Takeshi, he's being mean to me!" He clamped himself on Mori's jacket, whining in fear.

An evil aura emanated from Mori then, so everyone decided to leave Hunny alone, except for Shinichi, who was bewildered by the sudden silence that seemed to have fallen over them all. "So, why is everyone so quiet all of a sudden?" He asked curiously.

"Mori is so scary that he scares _us_ into silence!" Kaito whispered.

"Well, if _you _stop talking, that's a good thing. I can think for once," Shinichi remarked.

Kyo laughed. "I'm beginning to REALLY like this guy. Your disguises are rather tacky, but your mind is awesome!"

"I like you, Sohma-san. Both of you," Shinichi added.

Yuki smiled a little, a rare sight to see in and of itself. "As long as we get out of this sewer as soon as possible, I have no complaints at all."

"That's cool! Mr. Bun-Bun hates the smell!" Hunny whined.

"I wonder what the new recruits are like," Tamaki wondered aloud.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the dark and ominous towers of the prison where the evil Renge Hoshakuji was imprisoning five innocent men with the intention of torturing them for all eternity, a change was coming.

"Do you think we'll be let out soon, Gil?" Oz asked cheerily, while humming the "Lacie" theme song.

Gil's eyes widened upon hearing that melody come out of Oz's mouth. He knew that only one person would sing that song. "J-Jack? Are you in control now?"

"Oz" nodded his head, his emerald eyes full of delight, "It is most unfortunate that we are tombed up in this horrible dungeon. Perhaps I can beguile the young maiden who locked us up here and we will all be saved!" Jack declared.

"What did he say?" Hikaru asked.

"Is it just me, or did his personality change?" Kaoru questioned.

"Who are you gentlemen? My name is Jack Vessalius." Jack said.

"Is this guy schizo?" Hikaru asked aloud.

"What does schizo mean?" Jack asked. "You lads use quite unusual words."

"Why do you talk as though you're from another century?" Hikaru asked again.

Jack chuckled dryly, "Maybe I am...kuh kuh kuh. Maybe I'm not. Actually, two people inhabit this body; Oz and myself. He's not deviant in the slightest. He's merely bored and he wished to switch places now," He explained.

Gil nodded. Break looked genuinely interested for once and stopped humming to himself.

"So, you're Jack Vessalius, the hero of Sablier?" Break said. "So, Oz-kun WAS right."

"Oz is a bright boy," Jack remarked."However, he wanted me to have some fun now."

The door swung open and a brown-haired girl appeared, brandishing a whip and a camera,"Allow me to tell you all why I have imprisoned you! Hikaru and Kaoru-kun should already know what I mean! You three, what are your names?" She screamed, pointing at Gil, who winced.

"Don't hurt me!" He moaned.

"What a wimp you are, Gilbert!" Break taunted.

"So you're Gilbert! You're a coward. What's your name?" She turned to Break.

"Xerxes Break," Break introduced. "This is Emily."

Emily rattled a greeting, which freaked out Renge.

"It's alive! What's your name, dammit?" She shrieked at Jack.

"Depends on who you ask," Jack said evasively. "Some call me a hero. Others call me Jack."

"Jack, huh?" Renge said. Her eyes widened as a rose was thrust in her face.

"You are such a beautiful and vivacious young lady. Please, tell me your name. What time do you have to be back in heaven, angel?" Jack said effusively.

She blushed deeply, "I-I-I'm R-R-Renge...Hoshakuji. You're so...charming, Jack-san...but I'm afraid...that...YOUR PICK-UP LINES ARE SO RIDICULOUS THAT THEY MAKE ME WANT TO PUKE!" She shrieked.

Jack cringed. "Why must you reject my advances, madam? Is there something wrong with me as a whole? Or is my charisma too much for your poor, tender heart?"

He patted her shoulders then until she smacked his hand away.

"Shameless flirt you are!" She screamed. "I hate flirty men!"

"What's wrong with me?" Jack asked, running a hand through Oz's blond hair. His emerald-green eyes gleamed.

"Oh, he's a _natural_. Tamaki will LOVE him," Hikaru said enviously.

"Yeah, they both have cheesy pick-up lines," Kaoru mocked.

"N-Nothing at all!" Renge cried.

Break looked up suddenly, and smirked, 'I hear someone crawling through the vents. If Jack-san is as sharp as Oz-kun, he'll notice right away.'

Jack looked up, too. "Oh, dear. I think there are mice in your attic. Madam, have you contacted a terminator?"

"_M-M-Mice?" _She spluttered, her face full of shock. "How dare you call my dungeons filthy! I have cleaners come through here once a week!"

"That's the problem," Break snickered dryly. "I could've sworn I heard little feet moving up there."

'Figures that Break was able to hear it before any of us. He is one-eyed, after all,' Gil thought. 'Moreover, are people actually coming to save us?'

* * *

A little pebble fell and hit him on the head. Gil looked up in alarm and saw a pair of purple eyes blinking down at him. For a second, he thought it was the stupid rabbit, but he realized these weren't like her eyes at all. They were cunning.

A note was thrown through the vent next, which Gil rolled with his foot, and he kicked it over to Break, who had Emily pick it up via a piece of string he had made with his teeth. Break smirked as he read the note.

"Help is on the way, prisoners."-L.L.

'Who is L.L.?' Break thought. He smirked at Jack, grateful for the distraction he was providing.

The door was kicked open suddenly and a voice boomed, "WHO DARES TO TAKE MY MANSERVANT FROM ME?"

"Who are you?" Renge demanded. Her face fell as she found herself staring at a brown-haired girl with purple eyes wearing a red-and-white overcoat with white boots to match. Her gloved hands were tightening in anger.

"I am Alice!" She declared. "Hey, seaweed-head, let me use my power!"

"Don't call me seaweed head, dumb rabbit!" Gil protested.

Jack grinned. "I'd say our time together is over, lady."

He passed out then as Oz came to. "Hey, Gil, what's going on?"

Alice wielded her scythe and slashed Gil's chains, setting him free. She then moved to Oz and slashed his chains. She frowned at Break, but she slashed them, too. Gil took off his glove and put a hand to Oz's forehead, allowing Alice to use her power again. A bright flash of light overtook their vision, and a huge black rabbit stood in front of Renge, wielding a gargantuan copper scythe.

"What the hell are you?"

"ALICE, THE B-RABBIT! NOW, LET MY FRIENDS GO, AND THE CLOWN, TOO!" She boomed, before pointing the scythe menacingly at her throat.

"O-Okay."

* * *

Tamaki's eyes widened upon seeing a huge black rabbit attacking Renge.

"Why is there a giant talking rabbit down there?" Shinichi asked, rubbing his eyes. "Am I dreaming?"

"Nope," Kaito said sadly. "I'm afraid this is as real as it gets, Meitantei-san. At least it's freeing our friends."

The rabbit paused upon seeing Hikaru and Kaoru and sniffed them for a moment before slashing their chains as well. It turned its head up. "WELL, YOU COWARDS? COME OUT OF HIDING FROM UP THERE OR ELSE I'LL GET YOU DOWN MYSELF!" The rabbit boomed.

"Let's do as the crazy talking rabbit says." Tamaki whimpered. All of them jumped down then. Hikaru and Kaoru smiled upon seeing their friends, but they all raised an eyebrow upon seeing Shinichi. "Who is he?"

"A detective," Tamaki cut in.

"Oh, well, that's REALLY telling," Kaoru said dryly.

"I'm Kudo Shinichi," Shinichi said. "Who are they?" He saw the rabbit shrink down into a human girl with purple eyes and long brown hair.

She glared at them all,"Well, are these more manservants? I am Alice the B-rabbit, the most powerful chain in the Abyss! This is my manservant, Oz Vessalius, the messy-haired one is seaweed head, and the other one is a clown! I think I'll call you banana bangs!" She said to Shinichi as she pointed at his hair.

Shinichi frowned. "My hair does not look like that!"

"Yes, it does."

"Nice to meet you, Alice-san. I am Tamaki Suoh, and we are members of the Ouran Host Club. We have come to free our two friends-and your free friends have also been selected to join us! We have one problem, though...we originally flew on an airplane here, but it crashed, so we were snowbound and we went through this crazy hotel where some guy with an ax tried to kill all of us, and then we went crawling through the sewers for a while...We're from Japan."

"What's an airplane?" Oz asked curiously.

"It appears we have landed in an alternate dimension," Lelouch explained. "I'm kidding. We're just in France. It'll only take us a few days at the least to get back to Japan."

"I don't want to walk!" Tamaki screamed. "Think of how much my poor, tender little feet will suffer!"

"Who said we were _walking?" _Yuki said in annoyance.

"You can stay with us for a bit," Oz said cordially. "You can tell us what this club is all about on the carriage ride back."

"C-C-_Carriage ride? _" Shinichi cried out. "Jeez, what century _is_ this?"

"Somewhere in the 1800's," Oz said cheerily.

Everyone facepalmed.

"This is all Tamago's fault!" Kyo snapped. "You're so stupid that you made us transcend reality!"

"How is it my fault? I didn't know a freaking phone booth would start to move when we tried to call home!" Tamaki argued back.

"Reality warpers, huh? That's common. Oz-kun came from ten years in the past after being thrown into the Abyss," Break remarked.

"Blame the author," Ed said before looking at the screen.

"What author?" Tamaki said stupidly.

"Never mind," Ed said quickly, knowing he wasn't supposed to break the fourth wall.

"Don't worry. The never-ending doom just keeps on going, on and on and on...just get used to it!" Oz said cheerily.

"Weren't you supposed to give us GOOD news?" Kaito whined.

"Optimists don't exist in this dimension. You've entered the Pandora Zone," Oz joked.

"No hope? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-WHAM!"

Alice whacked Tamaki with her scythe. "Shut up, dandelion-head!"

"My hair does NOT look like a dandelion!" Tamaki protested.

"It could use some mowing," Shinichi said dryly.

Oz started to laugh at his joke. "Welcome to Reveille, Orange Hostile Club!"

"It's the OURAN HOST club!" Tamaki corrected.

"This is stupid," Haruhi agreed.

"Funky-oka, enough out of you!"

"Don't be mean to Haru!" Hunny whined.

"So, how did you idiots wind up in this mess, anyway?" Break said bluntly.

"Well, it's a long and horrible story spanning hundreds of years, centuries, months-"

"WE GET THE POINT ALREADY!" Everyone screamed.

"Anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, we ALL got stranded up in the mountains and tried to ask this man to help us, only he slammed the ax through the door and told us that Johnny was here. So we ran out of there. Hunny made friends with some creepy girls, but we had to end that friendship."

"Who's been watching too many movies lately?" Kyo scoffed.

"Silence! Do _not_ interrupt the king!" Kaito said sarcastically.

"Hey, I'm the one talking!" Tamaki said.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:Just to go over the worlds again...**

**Shinichi Kudo/Kuroba Kaito-Detective Conan**

**Edward Elric-FMA**

**Lelouch-Code Geass**

**Sanji-One Piece**

**Yuki/Kyo Sohma-Fruits Basket**

**Oz/Sharon/Alice/Gil/Reim/Break/Rufus/Cheryl-Pandora Hearts**

**Tamaki/Hunny/Mori/Hikaru/Kaoru/Haruhi-OHSHC**

**I do not own any of those universes.**

* * *

**Chapter 9 Making the most of a bad situation**

"So, you guys entertain ladies, is that what I presume you have been trying to tell me all this time?" Xerxes Break said as the Host Club was seated beside him in one tiny carriage. To be honest, only half of them were in this carriage; the others were put in with Alice and Gil.

"How come there's no air conditioning in here? It's hot!" Tamaki complained. "Hikaru, go turn up the air!"

"There's no air conditioning in here," Hikaru said, "You're so stupid you made us go back in time!"

"It's not my fault!" Tamaki whined. "Is it my fault, Lelouch?"

Lelouch blinked and said, "Yes, everything is your fault."

"TRAITOR! WHAT ABOUT YOU, KAITO? WHAT DO YOU THINK..._Kaito?" _

"Sorry, but you bored him to death," Shinichi said. Shinichi just rolled his eyes and looked away from Tamaki. "So, you said your name was Oz, right?"

"Oz Vessalius, heir to the Vessalius dukedom, at your service!"

"Ah, so you're a prince like Lelouch is?" Shinichi blurted.

"Didn't we say _not _to talk about it?" Lelouch said.

"Where do you come from?" Break asked.

"Actually, we all come from different countries. I come from Japan." Shinichi said.

"I'm from Amestris. It's pretty far from here," Ed supplied.

"_Very far," _Lelouch said sarcastically, "I come from Area 11."

"Never heard of such things," Break said, "Is it possible that you ALL come from different dimensions and meet up?"

"Ah, nothing like that. It's just that we all live in distant countries. Yes, very distant," Shinichi said.

"I can't believe Tamahome chickened out of this, and Sanji, how dare he!" Tamaki whined, throwing his usual pouting fit. Not that anyone cared.

"You said he has a crew. Is he a pirate?" Shinichi said in disbelief.

"Yes, he is. Well, it's true, we must admit...this isn't the first time we've transported to another universe. We've been through many universes. Let's just say we have a friend of ours who's really good at going between dimensions. She's quite a fickle woman, too." Tamaki said.

"Does it help if you know that's me?" Ed interjected.

"Really now? So dimension-hopping is possible?" Shinichi said sarcastically.

* * *

In the next carriage over, Gilbert, Alice, Haruhi, Hunny, and Mori were crammed together. The five of them had started a conversation, or tried to.

"Hey, aren't you going to answer me?" Alice cried. "Make them talk, Raven. They're annoying!"

'I take it it's just a coincidence, but that guy reminds me of Oz,' Gil thought, looking at Hunny.

"You like my Mr. Bun-Bun?" Hunny exclaimed.

"Hey, it's just like you!" Gil taunted.

"Shut up, seaweed head!" Alice yelled. Sure enough, both Alice and Gil resumed their argument.

Hunny stared at Mori. "Takeshi, why do they fight all the time? Why?" He said as tears filled up in his eyes.

"I guess that's how they are," He said.

'He is a lot like Oz. He whines and cries, though-he's a lot like me when I was a child!' Gil thought to himself.

"If anybody hurts you..." Mori began.

Gil caught whiff of a terrifying aura emanating from the man, and decided not to piss him off.

"You guys smell different. Where do you come from?" Alice demanded.

"We come from Japan!"

"Never heard of it. Right now, we're in Reveille." Gil said, "That's in France."

"France? I didn't know we were so far away from home," Mori said.

"That's troubling," Haruhi said.

* * *

In the other carriage...

"Well, we'll be at Pandora Headquarters soon."

"What's Pandora?" Almost every member of the host club asked, except for Kaito, who was asleep, and for two others, who were also asleep in the other carriage, Yuki and Kyo.

"You'll see..since you guys are travelers from another dimension, you'll also have to check in with the local authorities, righhttt?" Break said.

"There's something scary about him," Ed said.

"I agree," Shinichi said.

"Sillyyy...don't worry...Break isn't really that scary...right, Break?" Oz said.

"My, my, Oz-kun. You are ever the carefree brat."

Oz's green eyes lit up. "I know! We can introduce you to Sharon-chan and Reim-san and all of the others! There are so many nice people working at Pandora; you can meet them all!"

Hikaru and Kaoru both spoke up. "What was with your sudden personality change?"

Oz froze. "Uh..."

"You have schizophrenia or something?"

"Schizo-what?" Oz began.

"It's where you have voices in your head and you think there's another personality inside of you," Lelouch added helpfully. "A lot of people have it."

Oz froze, as if those words had struck something deep within him.

"Ah, Oz-kun acts just like Gilbert-kun does whenever he sees a cat!" Break taunted.

Somewhere, Gil knew he was being made fun of, and frowned. 'Bet it's Break...that bastard, he's always making fun of me.'

Tamaki had already grown tired of having anything to complain about and had fallen asleep.

"Where is Kyouya at?" Hikaru said.

"He's on vacation with his family," Kaoru said, "Too bad he can't be here to see this."

"I daresay he would have a most interesting reaction to it," Lelouch said. He had dealt with Kyouya before and there was always a threatening aura emanating from him. Even he didn't like him.

"Aren't we forgetting someone?" They all said.

"Oh yeah, where's the stupid rat and the cat at?" Ed asked.

"Oh, they were so worn out from arguing all night long that they fell asleep. They're probably in Alice and Gil's carriage, in the back, I think."

Sure enough, both Kyo and Yuki were asleep, dreaming of Tohru and fighting each other and winning.

"Yes, stupid rat...you lost...I finally beat you...now cry and place yourself at my feet..." Kyo whispered.

"They're talking in their sleep," Alice said, as if this was an odd thing to do.

"It's called dreaming, stupid rabbit. Maybe you should try to have some."

"We're there," Break said. Suddenly the carriages bounced to a stop as Yuki and Kyo jerked up out of their seats.

"Hey, they finally woke up!" Alice cried.

"You smell like the stupid rat," Kyo growled.

"You shouldn't be so annoying so early in the morning, stupid cat." Yuki muttered.

Both Yuki and Kyo stared at each other and then their eyes burned with a fire that everyone else could see, and they jumped back.

"Hey, now's not the time to fight. Especially around someone as dangerous as Break! He gets dangerous..." Gil said and quickly he and Alice escaped, utterly terrified of incurring the wrath of Yuki and Kyo.

"Oh, fighting so early in the morning?" Tamaki said as he stifled a yawn.

* * *

"This coming from the person who complained all the time?" Lelouch said sarcastically.

Kaito stifled a yawn. "Oh, Shinichi, I was dreaming about you. It was so wonderful."

"Oi, oi, Kuroba, the last thing I want is for people to see me as gay."

"Aren't you all interesting? Well, let me introduce you to my friend, Reim-san." Oz said.

"Pleasure to meet you all," Reim said, quite unnerved by all the people they suddenly had.


End file.
